nbaoffseason:

NEVER FORGET: THIS MAN HAS TWO CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES

In the off-season, Adam Morrison and his mustache (which has developed to full-on D’artagnan status btw) will NOT solve mysteries, but rather sit around and do epic bong rips while reveling in their 2 championships.

Meanwhile, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Reggie Miller, Chris Webber, Chris Mullin, George Gervin, and LeBron James will be forced to watch ESPN/Sports Illustrated commercials showing Ammo celebrating all summer long.

“Yo legends: tell me how my mustache taste”

(ED. NOTE: I’m really pulling for Adam Morrison. If JJ Redick can find a way to overcome his post-NCAA slump then hopefully so can Ammo. That is, if a team would actually give him some playing time. Dude did drop 30 points once in Charlotte…)

Hope this entry helps, Adam. Hope you can find some happiness today.

1 year ago
The saddest photo the world has ever seen. How can we make this poor man happy again? (Suggestions must not involve playing time). 

The saddest photo the world has ever seen. How can we make this poor man happy again? (Suggestions must not involve playing time). 

1 year ago

Adam, you may have spent the season riding the pine, moping about in a dull brown suit, bitter tears of resentment welling up every time you see Luke Walton get the minutes you know you deserve … but surely this little fella convinces you that life is worth living, right?

1 year ago
No more of this please, Adam!

No more of this please, Adam!

1 year ago
1 year ago

BP spills a coffee

Hey Adam. It’s a satirical analogy for the oil spill! Lol right?

1 year ago
Every Lakers game, you see the 2006 3rd overall pick sitting glumly on the bench. You can read the depression in his every movement. It’s gotten to point where we’ve stopped thinking “hey guy! You’re playing for one of the greatest sporting franchises in history and getting paid millions! Suck it up!” His sadness has entered sad puppy territory, and we can’t take it anymore. It’s killing the buzz of Lakers games. So for both his sake and ours, we’re going to cheer up Adam Morrison.

Every Lakers game, you see the 2006 3rd overall pick sitting glumly on the bench. You can read the depression in his every movement. It’s gotten to point where we’ve stopped thinking “hey guy! You’re playing for one of the greatest sporting franchises in history and getting paid millions! Suck it up!”

His sadness has entered sad puppy territory, and we can’t take it anymore. It’s killing the buzz of Lakers games. So for both his sake and ours, we’re going to cheer up Adam Morrison.

1 year ago